Author Archives: wildeivy

“Thank you, I’ll be right there!”, I drop the phone and try to breathe. “Your daughter has had a seizure, we are not sure what caused it, we have called an ambulance but you should come to the school right away.” I replay the words in my head and I am actively fighting panic. OhContinue reading “#32 Wilde Seizure”

These words swirl and bend around me like a carousel……. Ash has been gone 6 months now, we stopped communicating after 3 months of hurtful words over the phone. These last 6 month have been the hardest in my life and also the most rewarding. The girls and I bought a house and I wentContinue reading “#31 Wilde Carousel”

“You won’t leave me…..”, I say this smugly, with a look of absolute disgust on my face. We have been back in Bend now for about 6 months. Ash and I and the girls moved to Mexico last year for about 5 months after our apartment flooded. We have been dating for about a yearContinue reading “#30 Wilde Goodbye”

Hello again from abroad…… I have found myself quiet and alone and with some time to write and reflect. Its been a pretty crazy past year without extra time to devote to remembering my past. I prefer looking ahead to the future, not glancing back at the past. However, the past is responsible for whoContinue reading “#29 Wilde Reality”

Its Monday and I am currently on a plane over the Pacific Ocean. Rian and I have been on Oahu for the past month with Ash.  Ash is still there finishing up the remodel on our rental and working on his current movie.  Its been so long since I have written that I cannot rememberContinue reading “#28 Wilde Alone”

To all of you who have joined me on my journey……. Hello again;)  I have missed writing and missed hearing from all of you who are so gracious to comment.  I am encouraged by what you say and the questions that you ask, please don’t be shy….ever……and  feel free to ask or share anything!!! ThisContinue reading “#27a Wilde Hello Again”

  He is gone…….we got into a fight over something stupid and he disappeared.  HIs phone is off and I am going crazy.  I am trying not to feel out of control, but I cannot shut my brain down.  I upset him with expectations. Of course everything should be my way, I am the mother,Continue reading “Wilde Love 5”

http://markmcinnis.comphoto by: Mark Mcinnis http://www.wildideasworthliving.com/73 Weeks have gone by and we are existing within a bubble of bliss. Ash and I ride together, talk with each other, laugh together, cook meals together, do laundry together. Most nights he stays over. I actively ignore the conviction that pricks my heart. I deserve this, I deserve to feelContinue reading “#26 Wilde Love 4”

  For those of you who are just now beginning this story, or for those of you that have followed along with my sporadic musings, I encourage you to go back and read posts #6 Wilde Love and #7 Part 2.. I have a tendency to flit around as I write, weaving things together overContinue reading “#25 Wilde Love Part 3”

July 23, 2018       Good Morning, did anyone other than myself have a horrible weekend?  A weekend full of unmet expectations and disappointments?  I would love to be able to allow everyone to think that I have this life figured out, that because of everything that I have experienced I now have “arrived”. Continue reading “Wilde Midnight Musings #24”