Wilde Life

Today was amazing! I was refueled and renewed just by being in the same room as these women…..

Our family grew up on this island, our family became a unit, on this island. We matured and healed and changed, all together…. here!  Now……. I have 4 kids, spread over 3 different states and I miss more now then ever the 13 years we shared on this 44 miles long, 30 miles wide, isolated island home!

 

 

 

 

Its hard to write today about the past, I am sorry for that….    Its funny how somedays,  words will flow while other days they’re stuck……stuck inside an emotional mud pit! I’ll be honest yesterday was really hard! I was writing on the airplane and had to stop short because I started to cry. I want to be able to share my truth with you guys but in doing so part of me feels like I am hurting Ash. In order to be real about Josh I have to be there again… Back in 1992 when I wore my heart on my sleeve, when I lost my baby heart to a rebellious, beautiful “metal head”

 

Well right now I am sitting in 15D on Hawaiian Airlines flight # 3 LAX-HNL. I am sitting with my new friend Kerri, I added a photo of her to give you a visual while you read. I independently sell jewelry and I am traveling over to Oahu to throw a party for a good friend of mine. I’ll share some photos while we are on island. I am really excited about spending some time over there, however it is the first time that I have flown to Hawaii without my son. He and Dad are having a boys camping trip while I work. Not a bad work gig huh;)
My family and I lived on Oahu for 13 years and we still have a home over there, to be honest it is really the only place that I have ever lived that feels like home. Hawaii to me represents safety and comfort and new beginnings. It is also the place that I have lived the longest during my life…………but I am getting ahead of myself…….I need to go back to the beginning again…..

 

On April 9th, 1993 is Sisters, Oregon, on my parents ranch, I married my high school sweet heart. I was 18 years old and 5 months pregnant with our first daughter Kylie.
I remember the day that I first saw him….. my husband… My best friend and I were on a scavenger hunt with our youth group in Bend, Oregon. We were riding in a passenger van along with other kids from our church. I was 17 years old and a senior in high school. The rules of the scavenger hunt were simple; find all the items on the list given to us by our youth pastor and snap a polaroid picture as proof. Some of the items were a red baseball cap, someone wearing a cheerleading outfit, someone in blue sweat pants etc….
The van we were using was low on gas so we stopped at the local Texaco gas station. I looked out of the back window of the van, across the top of the pumps and saw the most beautiful human I had ever seen. He was working there as the gas attendant. I leaned over and whispered to my best friend, “Kara….. Do you see that guy over there?….That’s the guy I am going to marry” Im not kidding those were the exact words I spoke to her. Kara looked across the pumps to where I was looking and squinted her eyes, just a little bit as she turned her head and said to me….”Hey, I know that guy……his name is Josh, he goes to my school.”
Well, long story short….. I did not get out of the van that day, nor did I find the courage to speak with him days later when I skipped school and found myself in Bend 20 minutes away walking through the halls of Kara’s school and happened to see him. Hahaha you see that was the effect Josh had on me. He stole my words away, he left me breathless and nervous and without confidence. As you get to know me you’ll understand that I don’t struggle with words or breath…….. or confidance, for that matter. Please don’t misunderstand, I am not snotty, my mama just raised me to be secure, really secure, with who I was. Josh, with a look, could turn me into putty!
Rabbit hole……..hahahah sorry, I do that a lot. Please hang in with me!!
Again, long story short, hahahaha I married that guy!!! That guy that left me wordless and breathless and full of putty!!

 

 

Well day two of the blogging learning curve and I am just a frustrated as before, but moving forward.  I’ve always loved to learn so this is a fantastic learning opportunity!  Never be afraid to try something new or think that you are too old to catch up with our ever racing world!

I think that I am going to structure this blog as if I was telling you the story of my life so each day I will tell you a little more of my story and who I am.  I wrote in the introduction a little about myself and I will expound a little more each time I write.  Lets start with what I think is the  most defining aspect of myself and that is that……

I am a mother………..

These are my 4 children.  Moving from left to right….. The first, in the red pants, and the only boy is Rian.  In this photo Rian is 4 he now is 10.  He is my only boy.

The next, is Lilia, she is my youngest daughter.  She is now 19 and a sophomore a BSU (Boise State University).

Gracie is next she is 22 years old and recently finished a music program up in Bend Oregon.

Lastly is Kylie, she is my oldest at 24.  She graduated from UH (University of Hawaii) in 2016 and is the mother of my grandson.

I became a mother at 19 years of age.  These 4 people are the single most important things in my life and responsible for most of my adult development and character.  Each one is uniquely different and have taught me everything I know about how to be a Mom.

 

In the past 17 years I have been asked by more people than I can count to write a book. I have a very hard time sitting still for very long and I am not at all computer savvy, so I decided that I would try my hand at writing a blog. Short little excerpts each day about me, my life, how I got to where I am, what I have learned along the way, and the truths that I hold fast to.

Who am I???

I am 43 years old woman,  I currently live in Oak View California with my youngest son, my oldest daughter, my grandson, and my husband. My husband and I have been married for 11 1/2 years, our children range in ages from 10 all the way up to 24 years old. We raised our kids on the North shore of Oahu and still own our home there in Waialua.  Oahu is “home” but life has us in southern California right now and I cannot complain. My husband works in the movie industry as a “stunt guy”, so we travel a ton. I stay home so that I can home school my youngest son and boy is it challenging!

I love hot coffee in the morning, I love a clean house, all the time, I love my kids and my husband, I love to sing, talk and exercise!  I love people, all types!  I love the diversity among our different life stories and that we can always glean knowledge from one another experiences.

In this life I have been crushed by impossible heartbreak and loss and I have been mended through unconditional love and forgiveness!

Welcome to my journey!  I love to talk and share so please feel free to respond to any and all posts and no question is to personal!! Just be ready for an honest answer!!! hahahah