Why can I not seem to move in a direction……I am paralyzed. Paralyzed by grief, by disbelief, by pain. I am wondering, “where is my backbone, why am I not spitting mad and fighting”? I suppose the honest answer to that is…….Love…….
I think about what Jesus did for all of us. Walking with us on the earth, in places that we have the opportunity to visit, geographical places that really exist, that give us historical proof that Jesus was a real man who really lived and taught…..and died on a cross for us. I think about what he did out of his love for us all, the while knowing that we were going to defame him, deny him, distrust him, disobey him, and ultimately disregard him as King, Lord, and Savior. Jesus’ sole purpose was to love us enough to save us from ourselves so that we could experience freedom, hope and joy throughout a life forgiven by grace. The bible says “God demonstrated his own love for us in this…while we were still sinners Christ died for us” Romans 5:8.
I think about that almost every day now. If 15 years ago someone had told me that my heart would be broken as it is today if I had been warned,” Hey Ivy, you are going to experience “this” in 2021”, I would never have continued forward. I would have graciously bowed out and avoided this rejection. My need to self preserve and self protect is so strong that I would not be able to see that my continuing on could teach me something, or teach others something, or even be used in a “bigger than myself” way for someone else, maybe even someone that I don’t know. My need to self-protect and preserve would say, “get out now, while you still can, while you are still intact”. I would have rejected my future to avoid the pain that I had been warned of. Jesus knew………he had the knowledge of his future…. he knew that his heart and his body was going to be broken, the love of his life (which is ALL of us if you didn’t already know) was going to reject him……and still, he continued on out of his love for us.
Love is a powerful thing….not the mushy, emotional feelings of it……the love that endures the pain, endures the breathtaking heartbreak, remains steadfast in times of turmoil, tries, again and again, the love that says “you are more important to me than my own pain”,
the “love that bears all things, hopes all things endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:7)
….. the love that stays.
❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹